Okay, I know I’m a little late – 10 days – but I finally found something major that I feel I should work on. Minor stuff like putting myself first, being more hardworking, being kinder to others, etc, are all things I can start to work on on any ordinary day, but I feel like this one has to be written down for me to take it more seriously. Spoiler alert: there are some things that are so… anti-you, as if they were made exactly to counter your character, like how water is to fire… this post is going to be about my anti-mes.
I don’t express myself much. I mean, yeah, sure, I talk a lot about my day and what I found amusing throughout the day, but digging in deeper, these are all so trivial, and the only thing you take away from my words is probably a bit of my character. (I’ll accept easy-going, happy-go-lucky, optimistic, etc.) I don’t explicitly get across what I like, dislike, what I think is happening, and most importantly, what I want. This might be born out of fear of reading things wrong and embarrassing myself, being afraid of opening up about my life and making myself too vulnerable and exposed, or not wanting to be a bother when expressing what I want, especially since if it’s something I desire, I should be able to attain it myself, without bothering anyone about it.
So this year’s new year’s resolution is to communicate clearer with everyone – while writing, to stop assuming people know what I’m talking about (i.e. give more solid examples!!); to my parents, about what I want my university choices to be; to my boyfriend, basically everything (I keep in a lot because I feel like it’s a bit trivial, and I really feel I’m too closed off when compared to him// and fuck reading the mood wrong, it turns out I’m usually right about it); to my friends… nothing much, really, I’m alright with how our relationship are (no miscommunications because I’m usually too blunt and direct, and there’s nothing I want from you guys).
Here’s to more things being said, and less fucks given about being wrong!! (In other news, I should probably tone down my bluntness at the same time; otherwise it makes me sound like a self-entitled fuck)