i. is this enough?
my mind never drifts far into the future, and if it does, I stop it. there’s so much uncertainty and pointlessness – in a year, five, ten, you’ll be in a completely different place, and everything you’re doing now will be for naught. what’s the point of handing up homework, of being punctual to school, of keeping good relations with people that won’t even matter in the future? it’s so much easier to just focus on the present and find what makes you happy, and cut off everything that doesn’t. so much easier to focus on short-term goals and upcoming deadlines, and do what you want to do. but… living just for the moment – is this enough?
ii. hazy hazy
it’s still early, and while thoughts are there, they’re fleeting and hazy. I can remember them, but… they’re just there. I don’t know what to do with them – where do they lead? what should I do with this new insight? I like my solitude, does this have any relation to the fact that I have a sibling? I like my rain, but why in the middle of December? (global warming) one station with so many trains of thought, only one path to be ventured; so many questions and so little answers.
iii. choose your words carefully
over a decade of english classes later, and I’ve come away with only a few important, applicable points to real life – choose your words carefully. there may be a lot of synonyms for each word, but they’re not identical. each word has a different connotation, and you can’t just substitute the words interchangeably. the different words exist for a reason – be it to sugarcoat and sound more polite, or to accurately convey the exact thing you’re feeling. (between being ‘irritated’ and ‘annoyed’ with someone, ‘irritated’ is a lot less malicious, and implies you took it too personally, while ‘annoyed’ straight up dumps the blame onto the other person.)