Asexual awareness week is actually from 23 Oct to 29 Oct, so I’m glad I at least wrote this on the last day. It’s something.
The basics of asexuality (e.g. definite traits) can be found easily with some searching, so I want to focus other aspects of it. I never really realised how different I think (of course, how could I? I don’t know others’ thought processes) until I started asking my friends for their opinions and views on sex and sexuality and exploring how asexuality might have altered my view of the world. So below is a bunch of things that I realise I can be misinterpreted. Bear in mind these are just things that apply to me as an asexual; different asexuals have different opinions on this.
i. my asexuality is not abstinence
abstinence is restraining yourself from indulging; asexuality is not. the choice between having or not having sex exist for you; the option doesn’t exist for me, mainly because i don’t care for it at all.
ii. my boldness is not flirting
i make sexual innuendos (not directed at anyone, they just hang in the air) as an isolated joke – i’m not trying to get this to lead on to some other situation for potential sexual relationships or whatever. somehow, society has ingrained the idea that sexual jokes are funny, but any speech with sexual references indicates interest. just because i make sexual jokes doesn’t mean i want to do you. in fact, nothing that i’m doing indicates i want to do you.
everyone is pretty much a genderless blob to me – i don’t particularly care for my friends’ genders; i talk about the same things regardless of whether they are female or male. (again, this might have to do with sexuality never comes up during our conversations; i might have accidentally found myself a group of ace friends) so my male:female ratio is not something i notice until you point it out, neither does it “indicate” anything.
iii. my candour is not an invitation
i’m definitely going to talk about it. the vast diversity of everyone’s opinions make it good for discussion. again, this might be seen as me being thirsty for some action, but i just literally don’t see sex as a taboo topic. as someone who seemingly has no idea how sexual desires work, of course i’m interested in finding out more, of course i want to learn, of course i’m going to talk about it. this doesn’t mean i want to “try things out” or “find the right person to do it with”. it’s not an invitation.