I’ve been taking a lot more naps recently, just because I can, so the feeling of waking up not groggy has become more familiar. It’s different from waking up after a good night’s sleep (refreshed and energised) and from being woken up from a good night’s sleep (still tired and disoriented). It’s kind of like moving as part of a routine or by clockwork, running on autopilot. I still feel slightly out of it whenever I wake up from a nap.
Anyway, the feeling after waking up is weird, but it’s even weirder before you fully wake up. It’s like tapping in to the deepest part of the abyss that is your subconscious – unanswerable questions and thoughts you wouldn’t vocalise plague your mind. Questions like ‘does anyone really know me?’ and ‘aren’t I just all alone in this world?’ float by and mingle with noises you hear in real life. As quickly as they come, they’re gone, yet they leave an impact.
I think I’m going to take even more naps from now on, just to see what kind of absurd shit my brain will pull up.