summer musings pt 1

i. fleeting dreams

apparently most people don’t remember their dreams within 10 minutes of waking up, unless it’s a recurring one. it’s really saddening for me because i’ve woken up multiple times, disoriented or crying, because of what happened in my dreams. it resonates for the first five minutes after i’m awake as i repeatedly wash it over and over, trying not to forget. not to comb out hints of life advice or to look for hidden meanings, but just because i really enjoy what happened in it. why does something that struck a chord in me, have to slip my mind so easily?

ii. this too shall pass

i don’t let this get to me much – that “this too shall pass” is the one quote i truly, 100% agree with no matter what mood i’m in. if everything i have now, all the achievements, my friends, material things, won’t matter in 5-10 years, what am i doing now? what am i living for? why bother now when it won’t matter later?

iii. feelings really, truly are complicated

i may know the textbook definition of words like ‘exasperated’ and ‘exhausted’, and even use them more than occasionally in real life, but it’s not exactly accurate descriptors. (sometimes i don’t realise how easily i’ve been throwing around these words until the full meaning hits me suddenly, when i’ve truly experienced the essence of the word itself.) feelings that i know now can’t be accurately described with a few simple words, when it’s probably a complicated overlap of a few dozen emotions – an uncertain mixed amount of this and that. complicated and hard to describe. after all, feelings aren’t meant to be quantified.

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